Excowmunication of the Squirrel Pope and All Followers

As can be seen form the above picture a crisis has formed. Some squirrels have gone too far and separated from the Bovine Church. This is a sad day because most of these squirrels were great examples to all non-bovine members of the Bovine Church. It is believed that all has happened because of St. Scurrius, though other sources have said that the ASC (Anti-squirrel Coalition) has been spreading false information among the friendly squirrels. This has gone beyond the Europa ordeal because the ordination of a squirrel is ontologically impossible. However, we hope that it will end quicker and better.

Pope Bushytail “as he calls himself” has declared that all teachings of the Bovine Church are incorrect, and is in the process of bringing the squirrels to the Squirrel Church for a full union of all squirrels. He has taken up residence somewhere in a tree in the Shenandoah Valley and is deep in hiding from the ASC road agents that are still around. As can be seen later from the Baggage Boy’s post, the squirrels are also in training to defeat, once and for all, the ASC. What the squirrels will do with their army, should they win, is still unknown and feared by some. The sheep that returned have offered their full support in defense of the Cow Pope should they be needed.

This will in no way conflict with the Cownization of St. Scurrius, even though they are claiming him as their patron saint and martyr. This claim cannot stand for long because St. Scurrius followed all specifications needed for the Bovine Church. If Anti-Pope Bushytail is claiming the teachings of the Cow Church incorrect, then they are claiming that the beliefs of St. Scurrius were incorrect.

R. T. Sender
~ Investigator